Participation by Invitation

Invitiations

Participating in a Society hosted Fishing Tournament is a great honor and should be cherished dearly. In order to preserve certain standards of excellence as well as maintain blissful peace, all tournaments are strictly governed by the Executive Committee of the International Golden Pike Society Inc. Accordingly, as a participant or member of the fishing expedition, you are bound to comply with all of the Society's rules, regulations, customs and rituals.

Participation is by Invitation only.

By vote of the Executive Committee, each being of completely unsound mind, rarely sober and having no idea who you are, invite unique persons to participate at the annual gathering of the clan for a period of eight days. By participating in the Tournament you have the opportunity to meet the qualifications for nomination as a Director to the Executive Committee in this rarest of private clubs. In most cases, there are conditions attached to the hollowed invitation; all of which are related to your reputation and/or previous conduct with an Executive Committee Member or Founder and for which had been recorded in Sanskrit and recently retrieved for purposes of exhausting effort. The bottom line is that you simply must get with the program and improve yourself as follows:

You MUST learn how to drink more (and more and more) of anything having to use a straw, nipple (careful) or bib. The burping afterwards is perfectly acceptable.

You MUST learn to tone down the treble quality of your tonal "VOICE" intonations if you wish to qualify as a member of the world renowned quintet; "the flatulent Five" plus one.

Your MUST develop a sense of humor. It is absolutely boring watching someone soberly (Ha) read the learned word ("Cruising in the North Woods with the Guys") and worshiping the Gods (the "Porcelain God") on a daily basis. Learn how to tell at least one (in) decent joke.

Your MUST quell your competitive instincts. Catching twelve fish in the last five minutes of the week is no longer permitted (especially if they are all the same fish).

You MUST learn how to properly curtsy before the "Founder's Hall of Fame" on every occasion you are permitted to be in the presence of that hallowed shrine to aquatic excellence until such time as catch a fish sufficiently large to qualify for election in your own right.

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